enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize