The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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