ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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