I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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