Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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