just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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