Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize