I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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