Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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