Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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