well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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