Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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