she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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