i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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