I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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