I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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