I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize