so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
being pregnant is like rehab
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize