i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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