you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize