We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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