yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize