I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize