OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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