just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize