You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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