Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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