It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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