Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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