The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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