before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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