Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
God, you're like boner-b-gone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize