I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize