Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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