Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize