It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize