11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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