I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize