Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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