Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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