Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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