we're blogging at a bar
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
false alarm, still single
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