he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize