see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize