I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize