Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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