Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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