hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just had sex bonerless
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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