No, drunk sperm still make babies.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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