So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize